Lipstick

There is good news to be had!  I finally worked up the courage to put lipstick on!  As can be expected, I'm not very good at it right now, but I'll get better.

I've also gotten better at tucking and taping.  Though I doubt I'll need to do so for much longer; I'm going to buy the Vicky Panty, which is basically a flesh-colored latex panty with a prosthetic vagina on it.  It also has padding in it in the buttocks, so I'll be able to simulate having a curvy feminine ass <3.

I also have a new name, given to me by my succubus Goddess: from this day forward, I go by the name Naya Jivana!  When I go to get my name officially changed, that will be the name I change it to.

Depilatory

One of the things that must happen for my transformation to be a success is that I have to get rid of my unsightly body hair.  Succubi aren't hairy, their skin is as smooth as gossamer silk.  Still being a mortal man, mine is hairy and ugly, with blemishes and scars here and there.  If I ever hope to join the ranks of beautiful females, I have my work cut out for me.  What with chemical peels, dermabrasion, and acne treatments to remove the scars and moles and blemishes, not to mention the removal of my body hair, which I hope to one day make permanent.

Not an easy task.  I'm trying to decide weather to use laser treatments or electrolysis.  My final decision will take into account the cost and the amount of pain I am willing to endure.  Pain being a lesser factor, since, one must be prepared to suffer to be beautiful.

In the meantime, I will be shaving my body hair and using depilatory cream to make my body smooth and hairless.  It hasn't gotten off to a good start.  The creams I've been using haven't taken all the hair off, and I usually miss some very important areas when I shave.  I'm going to need someone to help me get it right.

Panties

My first step took place not too long ago.  I bought myself three pair of gothy black and purple panties from Victoria's Secret, and a set of goth-girl clothing from Hot Topic.  It's very satisfying to wear them, I can already feel some of my manhood draining away!  It's tricky to tuck, though.  I tried medical tape, a thong, and simply tucking without any assistance, to little effect.  I think I'll have to use duct tape next time.

As I feared, I encountered trouble right off the bat when I began trying on my Hot Topic clothes.  The leggings were too short, the neckband was too tight, and I forgot to get lacing for the corset.  I guess I'll fix that when I go back to Hot Topic to complete my ensemble.

There is good news to be had, though: I may be getting a job soon!  That will take a lot of the burden off me; I won't have to rely on birthday cash presents to buy my feminization gear.  Once my goth succubus outfit is complete, I think I'll take it for a test drive this Haloween.

The Method

When I say I'll become a succubus, I mean I'm going to do everything in my power to change my body, my mind, my soul, and the way people perceive me to make this a reality.  This may involve feminization training, hormone replacement therapy, hypnosis, plastic surgery, heavy body modification, tattoos, piercings, or even magic to make it a reality, and if it comes to any of that, I will gladly do it.  I will peruse the internet to find out what it takes to make my fantasy a reality, and indenture myself to anyone who will grant my wish.  I am a faithful servant.

That being said, there are a few things that I won't do.  I'm not gonna hurt anyone or do anything to anyone against their will, for starters.  I may be twisted, but I'm not cruel.  Secondly, I'm not willing to do myself in.  I may be a lot of things, but I'm not suicidal, and there is no religion or cult that will convince me that death inflicted upon onesself is a pathway to one's desires.  Thirdly, though I respect furries, I don't think I could bring myself to don a fursuit myself, 'cause it's just not my thing.  Fourthly, I can't bring myself to outright break the law, although I've been known to bend it sometimes.  Lastly, I'm not crazy about ingesting anything that isn't food, drink or cum, and as an effect of that, I don't do scat or watersports or heavy drugs.

Those are pretty much my only absolute reservations, though.  Everything else, I'm pretty flexible on.  I may be a bit of a wimp now, but I can be taught to toughen up.

Introduction

My name is Optia.  Or rather, that's what I want to be called.  My real name is of no consequence, as I plan to discard it, along with everything that I once was, when my metamorphosis is complete.

I used to think I had everything: I grew up in a nice suburb with loving parents in a nice little town.  I was in good financial shape, and I had a few close friends.  But somehow it just wasn't enough.  I went through life with a constant feeling of powerlessness, that made me act out and alienated a lot of people I cared about.  I used to think it was just because I was weird, but now I know the truth.  I wasn't meant to be what I am right now.  The body I was born with is a prison, a living tomb that hides what I really am from the world.

It revealed itself to me slowly at first.  I began to notice I had an unnatural attraction to what would be considered the occult, particularly what many describe as sexual deviancy.  Normal human sexuality doesn't turn me on, I need something more.  As I explored my passions, I discovered exactly what that was.   My desires seemed to be gravitating towards transformation, forced feminization, and extreme body modification.

The thing that most grabbed my attention was the succubus.  A female demon whose very existence revolved around sexuality.  Most depictions of them nowadays are of them slaying their prey, but there are some who turn their helpless victims into more of their kind.  They seemed to take particular delight in turning once powerful, dominating males into sissy, slutty she-devils.

When I discovered this, I felt a surge of sexual excitement the likes of which I had never felt before.  I knew at last that this was my destiny.  And so here I sit, plotting my transformation into the image of my dreams, my liberation from my feeble male human form, revealing the succubus within.